The Words That Can't Be Shared: Exploring the Design of Unsent Messages

Paper Title

The Words That Can't Be Shared: Exploring the Design of Unsent Messages

Publication Info

• Topic area: Human-Computer Interaction (HCI) and emotional communication
• Keywords: Unsent messages, self-censorship, emotional reflection, digital communication, speculative design, note-taking platforms, emotional regulation, ritualistic design, computer-mediated communication, self-expression

Background and Problem

• Problem / challenge: The practice of writing unsent messages, a liminal space between private journaling and public communication, is underexplored in academic research. Existing digital platforms are not intentionally designed to support the emotional and reflective needs of this practice.
• Significance: Unsent messages provide a unique way for individuals to process emotions, reflect on relationships, and navigate the tension between self-expression and self-censorship. Understanding and designing for this practice can enhance emotional well-being and reflective outcomes.
• Motivation and related work: Prior research has explored online self-disclosure, journaling, and emotional regulation in digital contexts. However, unsent messages, which combine elements of these practices with a relational focus, remain understudied. This paper builds on theories of computer-mediated communication (CMC), reflective writing, and emotional regulation to address this gap.

Solution

• Proposed approach: Investigating the motivations, experiences, and design implications of unsent messages through formative interviews and speculative design probes.
• Novelty:
  1. Empirical exploration of unsent messages as a reflective and emotional practice.
  2. Development of nine speculative design probes to examine how platform design affects the experience of unsent messages.
  3. Identification of design strategies to support emotional expression, reflection, and autonomy in unsent message writing.
• Procedure and key techniques:
  • Conducted semi-structured interviews with 20 participants to understand motivations and experiences with unsent messages.
  • Designed nine speculative variants of a note-taking app, exploring dimensions like rituality, temporality, sociality, and affordances.
  • Conducted follow-up probing studies with 8 participants to evaluate the impact of these designs on emotional and reflective outcomes.

Results

• Concrete findings:
  • Unsent messages serve as containers for unspoken feelings, helping individuals process emotions like anger, guilt, and loneliness.
  • Writing unsent messages fosters reflection on relationships and self-perception, often leading to emotional regulation and personal growth.
  • Design features like symbolic actions (e.g., burning messages), temporality (e.g., fading messages), and sociality (e.g., AI feedback) significantly influence the emotional and reflective outcomes of unsent messages.
• Advantage over baselines:
  • Compared to generic note-taking apps, intentionally designed platforms can better support emotional safety, reflective depth, and decision-making autonomy.
  • Symbolic and temporal design elements enhance catharsis and emotional closure, while AI support and pre-reflective prompts encourage deeper introspection.
• Experiments / evaluation:
  • Formative study with 20 participants (average age: 26.2) to explore motivations and experiences.
  • Probing study with 8 participants (average age: 25.5) to evaluate speculative design probes.
  • Thematic analysis of interviews and user interactions with the probes.
• Limitations and future work:
  • Sample skewed towards young women, limiting generalizability across demographics.
  • Exploratory nature of the study; future work could involve longitudinal studies and functional prototypes.
  • Potential to explore cultural and regional differences, as well as links to mental health outcomes.

Summary

This paper investigates the practice of writing unsent messages, revealing its role as a reflective and emotional tool for managing interpersonal tensions. Through formative interviews and speculative design probes, the study identifies how platform design can influence emotional expression, reflection, and autonomy. Key contributions include insights into the motivations behind unsent messages, the impact of design features like symbolic actions and temporality, and the potential for AI support in reflective practices. These findings highlight opportunities for designing intentional digital spaces that support emotional well-being and self-discovery.